Why Life isn't Peachy Keen....

I think we're all pretty aware that life isn't easy. We need to work hard for our jobs, our grades, our significant others (or lack thereof), and the biggest pain in our butts: our futures.

I don't know about anyone else, but the future is what I fear most in the entire world. My absolute least favorite question is "where do you see yourself in five years" I don't know, where do you? Because I can guarantee five years ago, you didn't expect yourself to be where you are today. It's a ridiculous question. I can't even say what exactly I'll be doing a week from now, let alone tomorrow. However, I have found that we all need to brace ourselves for what the future holds. Just like those safety pamphlets on airplanes, (that we all seem to neglect after several flights) it's always good to be ready. I know I'm repetitive, but only because it's a true statement. But hope for the best, and plan for the worst.

The past week and a half has literally been the most confusing, joy-filled, sad/lonely and spiritual time in my life. I know, that sounds insane. I have basically felt every emotion possible put into a few short days. But to put things into perspective, long-story short, I lost two people very important to me. One by choice, and one without. (No, nobody died. Or is in a coma) I can tell you right now, that three weeks ago, I did not expect my life to be in this situation. But I've been reminded that every moment, and every decision we make has a purpose. 

I carry this notebook to church, that my mom randomly gave me as a gift. There's a quote on it from Marjorie Hinckley that says, "Everything you are learning now, is preparing you for something else." It seems pretty cheesy, but it has truth. Lately hard decisions have been popping up everywhere. School, work life, and personal life. I have spent the past few days trying to sort out my life, figuring out why people were brought into it, and why I have been prompted to make certain choices. And simply put, it's because it's supposed to help me for the future. The place that I fear most. But it doesn't sound as scary when you realize that ultimately you decide what happens.

I remember right before all my friends left on missions they all made sure I was aware that I was NOT allowed to get married while they were gone. Me, being stubborn and headstrong, would shout that I would never be a college bride. And they would gently remind me that it was my choice at the end of the day. We all make decisions every single moment of every single day that can determine our future, but it is up to us to make sure we choose the right ones. As much as Heavenly Father wants to help us out, we need to ask for it, and He expects us to make the right choices. It's kind of how our parents told us that we could stay out past midnight, but they preferred us to come home earlier.

Yesterday, I sat down with my dad and just vented to him about everything going on in my life. All he said in return was, "There are somethings you cannot learn from others and have to experience for yourself" 

I think ultimately this past week and a half, I have learned that having weaknesses is not a bad thing. Feeling sad, alone, and angry are not bad things. Putting up emotional walls? Not so great, but still not a bad thing. Asking for comfort, help, guidance? Definitely not a bad thing. There is always something to improve on in life, even if you think you're at your best. Life never has and never will be easy, but our challenges and trials will be worth it in the end. So let's help each other get through the tough times, and laugh through the best.

The Little Things

In an effort to avoid homework, this blog post happened.

The past two weeks have been overwhelming spiritually. I was reminded of how much Heavenly Father truly cares about each and every one of us individually. He cares and understands our wants and desires as simple and small as they may seem.

About a week and a half ago, I went to the temple, a weekly occurrence for me. For some reason, I was feeling vulnerable and was terrified at the thought of being mistaken as a boy again. So I said a simple prayer before entering, asking God if He would help everyone at the temple to be observant and recognize me for who I am. It seemed really ridiculous as I finished my prayer, but it felt important to ask for help. To no surprise, my visit was exactly what I hoped and prayed for. What an amazing reminder of how much He truly cares about our lives! I hope to whoever is reading this, you too will learn again and again, as I have, to ask of God for assistance in things that are out of our control. As little or unimportant as they may seem, I know for a fact that He wants to hear from you.

I urge you to read Elder Hugo E. Martinez's talk, from General Conference this past weekend. It felt so personal in a way that I cannot explain.

On top of all this goodness, I also had the opportunity to watch priesthood session for the first time. I've always spent the time reading the talks, but never seen it live. I spent all of Saturday with my favorite guys in my ward and I asked if it would be alright if I could watch the session with them. They all agreed, warning me that it might be overwhelming because the leaders of the church are quite often direct and harsh towards the men. Honestly, all I have to say after watching it, is that it was my favorite part of the entire conference weekend. Not only did I get to experience something new, but I bonded with these guys! I am so grateful for the people in my life right now and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I am thankful for the reminder that Heavenly Father places people into our lives at certain times for certain reasons. These boys build me spiritually everyday, whether or not they know it and I love them for it!! (:

In case you want to read/watch/listen to more of this past weekend's conference, here is the link!