12.05.2014

Believing in Happy Endings

When I was little, I convinced myself that fairytale dreams are impossible goals. I spent my teenage years looking down at the girls that expected Prince Charming (or now the ever popular Flynn Rider) to come save me, sweep me off my feet and we'd live happily ever after. I still find that ridiculous, but that is a rant for another day. I taught myself to be independent. To learn to rely on no one but myself. Slowly but surely during the past couple years of college, I have torn down that wall for God. Living a life without Him is confusing, dark, and I would never recommend it. When I entered college, I was and still am determined to never be a girl getting her MRS degree. If you happen to be one of those girls, seeking the lifestyle of only being a mother that is totally and completely acceptable. But I would personally never choose that life for myself; I want to have a career AND be a mother. I would hope that we can all respect each other for our choices and vise versa.

Recently, I have realized that I have been coming up with a lot of really crappy invalid reasons not go get married or make an extra effort to find my future husband. First of all, whoever I marry should respect my beliefs and wouldn't force me to do anything that I would not want to do. For example, tell me to drop out of school, because honey that is not happening. Or when we have children ask me to quit my job to be a stay at home mom 24/7, which, for me, would be disrespecting my choices. I don't want to get too deep into this, but I am fully aware that the LDS church has a strong stance on what men and women should do when it comes to families. However, it never says that a woman should not work. In fact, president Hinckley urged women to get a full education. Why should I be the only one making that sacrifice? My father was the one in my family that took me to school and picked me up. He taught me to drive, he taught me to ask God whether or not to know if things are true. I am not saying my mom didn't raise me, but I am saying that both people in a relationship should make certain sacrifices depending on their situation. There are no set rules on what kinds of sacrifices people should make when starting a family. You do you. And I am POSITIVE that Heavenly Father will help and guide you along the way. 

There's no easier way to put the fact that I am scared of marriage. It scares me that all my friends tell me that I will be engaged within a year or so. The future in general is scary. But what I do know is that I can't really mess around anymore and I need to buckle down and focus on not just school and a career but finding the poor sap that gets to be stuck with me for the rest of eternity. So here's to you future husband....sorry I am so stubborn and have been avoiding you....

I would say I'm 75% more open to the idea of finding the guy...but what I am 100% sure of is I believe in happy endings. It took a while, but I'm slowly but surely starting to be less scared. Dating/Marriage is work. It doesn't come at ease. But if we work hard for what we want, we can be happy. Here's to all us finding who we are meant to be with for the rest of forever.

Sorry for the language...

1 comment:

  1. I love this blog post Rachel! I am so proud of you! Love you ,tons!

    ReplyDelete