With A Little Help From My Friends

I have spent twenty years of my life trying to put on a face, put up a shield and make sure every single one of my friends is happy and doing what they should be before I myself do. I have said time and time again that I would go to the ends of the earth for several of my friends to ensure that they have happy lives and marry the right people before I ever do. 

Ultimately, this summer I have learned that I can't do that anymore.

I realize that it sounds like I am saying I no longer care about my friends, which is false. I have merely learned that as a human being, and not God, I can only do so much and say so much until it's out of my hands.

You are not responsible for anyone BUT yourself on this earth. Even when you grow older and have children, you can only hope they turn out to be the people they should be. No one can force anyone to do anything because at the end of the day everyone has their right to choose. Of course God can do things for us, but do you think that's the way to learn anything? Absolutely not. Agency was given to us so that we can learn and grow to become the best version of ourselves.

These past couple weeks I have let myself open up more to my own personal problems and seek advice from friends. It has been really different. Two weeks ago when my week was not going great at all I immediately sent an email to my best friend, Ali, who is currently serving in Alaska. I was in tears asking for advice to get over a hard time and how to move past it. I'll tell you something, LISTEN TO THE SPIRIT when it prompts you to do things like this. Sure, it might not seem that important at the moment but if I didn't email her I would have been a complete wreck. Her email back was not long, but it was enough. She reminded me that everything would end up being okay and that I should choose to be loved. I can't even begin to explain how perfect of an answer that was. 

Some days, it's okay to be selfish. To love yourself.

You can only teach your friends so much until they decide whether or not to believe it all. So don't put stress on yourself. At the end of the day, your friends do not need a lecture, but LOVE. 

I know many times I have told people that I have never loved someone, in a romantic way. I'm honestly not sure if I ever will be able to because it's a whole new concept to me. BUT I will tell you this, I love my friends SO SO much. If you're sitting and thinking, "I could never love someone unconditionally" THINK AGAIN. I bet you have. Your friends, your family. It's the idea that no matter what a person does or chooses, you still care about them just the same.

So here is my piece of advice for this week: don't forget to remind the people in your life how important they are to you and how much you love them despite their actions and choices. 

Life was not meant to be lived alone.